How To Kill A Man Without Leaving A Trace…

This is easier than you might think…

It requires no real skill. You wont have to spend the next ten years honing your ninja like moves. There is no weapons or poison to buy. It turns out that all you have to do is bore them to death. No none will notice. The body will simply show up one day and none us will be any the wiser.

Scientists, Annie Britton and Martin J. Shipley of the Department of Epidemiology at University College London studied over 7,500 civil servants between the ages of 35 and 55 and recorded their level of boredom. Then they called back 10 years later to find out who was still alive.

Those who’d said they had high levels of boredom were 37% more likely to be dead by 2009! And what was the conclusion? Bored people are more prone to being unhappy, unmotivated and unfulfilled and generally all round miserable leading to unhealthy habits like smoking, drugs, or drinking…yadda, yadda, yadda.

So, for that stealth Kill…Do Nothing.

What does this have to do with lifting shit?

I hear so many folk whine. I don’t know what programme to do, how long should I rest, how many reps? Should I add muscle, should I drop weight. Do I need to do cardio. Am I too huuuuuuge!??? STOP!

You owe it to yourself to make your training brutally effective and with a little imagination, fun. If you have to choose one, go for the former but if you are even just a little bit clever, it can be both.

We all know the benefits of regular exercise. We know that the physical and mental pay off is worth every minute. But so many guys get hung up on the small stuff and turn the process into a navel gazing exercise. The mental component of training only kicks in when you are actually training. I don’t care how much Napoleon Hill you read, you are not going to think and grow big! You cant read yourself fit.

Train properly and there will be no time to fuss over details, that in all honesty, have little or no impact on your overall conditioning.

So, first things first. Make your training sessions short. I often simply pick two exercises and work them back to back. Rather than worrying about muscles, think about moves.

We are designed to push, pull, squat, lunge, bend and twist. So, a lunge matrix followed by a pyramid set of Kettlebell squats. Or how about double Clean and jerks and wide grip pull ups.

You don’t need a ton of gear to do this and it is simple to take a drill you have mastered and make it more challenging. I recently added a pair of Fat Gripz to my pull up routine and I went from cranking out smooth double digits to strugglling to get 5.

For the guys who think of training as a neccesary evil, you will always be taking two steps forward and one step back. If you can get your head in the game and make your training “playful” you will open up a world of potential.

This week so far has consisted of…Monday, Kettlebell Clean and jerks and pull ups. Tuesday, Heavy Bag, skipping and snatches. Wednesday, 2 mile run, strengthing, kicking, shadowboxing. Thursday, Indian Clubs, shoulder press, suitcase dead lifts, pull ups, press ups.

Today? Sun is shining, might go to the park and swing, roll, run, jump. Bottom line is, I will move!

So yeah, it’s great to have a plan, it’s good to have a goal. But more importantly, it’s essential to simply move like you mean it. Embrace the chaos, try stuff, experiment, ditch the stuff that doesn’t work, do the stuff that you don’t like, temper that with the stuff you love.

One thing is for sure…you wont get Bored!

- Rannoch

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Rannoch Donald

based in Scotland, is a Kettlebell and Movement Coach with the IKFF and runs Simple Strength
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4 Comments

  • avatar

    Great article and great points. We tend to over think what we’re doing sometimes. I got to the point where I stopped really caring about what “program” or “routine” I was following and started working out with the purpose of having fun and moving.

    It has made a world of difference and I’m having more fun than I have had in a looong time. Plus, I’m in better shape than I have ever been.

    Good stuff…thanks!

  • avatar

    This is brilliant!! Thanks!!!

  • avatar

    Not wanting to sound like a killjoy here, but isn’t there another possible explanation for this research?

    Couldn’t it be that the people who said they were more bored were actually more negative people who looked for the bad side of their job, rather than positive people who always see the good?

    Their job wasn’t necessarily more boring, nor were they necessarily more bored, they just focused on it more?

    Therefore it could be argued that it wasn’t the boredom per se which killed them, but their more negative view of life in general?

    But I get your point. Why be bored when you don’t have to be? I love to mix up my gym sessions which is not only more interesting but also helps to keep my body guessing which I find leads to better results for me.

  • avatar

    It doesn’t matter. Whatever way you look at it, bored, negative, miserable, the out come is predictably the same.

    Chicken, egg…egg…chicken?

    You have all you need, right here, right now, to make the changes, to turn things around.

    Being negative (or as the pessimists like to call it “realistic”)is a self fulfilling condition.

    To quote Bhaghavan Das “Worrying is praying for what you don’t want”.

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